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「 14G27 」

I loved that school

I find myself in its depths every once in a while, approximately once a month to gauge it more accurately. These dreams are usually accompanied by an throbbing sense of unbelonging, this time which was culminated in the appearance of that face.

That cursed moment when I first thought my dreams connected with reality still lingers in my mind. 

I was stepping through the musky comfort of my hometown’s library, when suddenly the end of an aisle led me to the enormous depths of that other library. Perhaps my mind spliced the books with the cathedral, it was so heartrendingly cavernous. 

As I turned my head, the section opened up like a doorway from Wolf Children, with the light instead occupying a drawing room. My eyes adjusted to the light and focused on two figures, and my heart fell through six levels of canopy. My jolted movements turned their gazes around.

For the love of God, please don’t approach me. Don’t appear while I’m trying to close my eyes. Don’t look at me as I will myself to fade into the books underneath my clutching fingertips. Don’t tell me the story. Don’t turn into a crowd. I know my shadow carries more years than that one. I know my years carry more shadows. That is why I’m pressed into rows and rows of words, and not sitting at that desk.

I ran and ran until I tripped into another dream